How to stop taking things personally (even when it feels personal)

I used to think that not taking things personally meant developing some kind of emotional armor, letting everything bounce off me like I was untouchable. But the truth is, some things are personal. Some comments sting. Some rejections feel like they’re aimed right at who you are.

And still, you don’t have to let them define you.

Not taking things personally isn’t about pretending you don’t care. It’s about not letting other people’s words, opinions, or actions shake your sense of self. So, if you tend to overthink every comment, replay conversations in your head, or feel like every critique is an attack, here’s how to shift your mindset.

Understand That People’s Actions Say More About Them Than About You

Most of the time, what people say or do isn’t actually about you—it’s about them. Their insecurities, their worldview, their bad day, their baggage.

Of course, this doesn’t mean people don’t affect us. But it does mean you don’t have to carry everything as if it’s yours to fix.

💡 Action step: The next time someone says something that stings, pause and ask yourself: Is this really about me, or is it about them?

Detach Your Worth from Other People’s Opinions

Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will understand you. And that’s okay.

If someone critiques your work, it doesn’t mean you’re bad at what you do. If someone pulls away, it doesn’t mean you’re not worth their time. If someone underestimates you, it doesn’t mean they’re right.

💡 Action step: The next time you feel hurt by someone’s words, remind yourself: Their opinion is not a fact. And it’s definitely not my truth.

Learn to Pause Before Reacting

When something feels personal, the instinct is to react, defend yourself, explain, get angry, withdraw. But the real power is in pausing.

Give yourself space between what happens and how you respond. That space is where you get to choose what actually deserves your energy.

💡 Action step: When you feel triggered, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Will this matter to me in a week? A month? A year?

Accept That Criticism and Rejection Are Part of the Game

If you put yourself out there—whether in work, relationships, or just being yourself, not everyone will approve. And that’s a sign you’re doing something real.

Some feedback is valuable. Some isn’t. The trick is knowing the difference.

💡 Action step: The next time you receive criticism, ask: Is this constructive, or is it just noise? If it’s constructive, use it. If it’s noise, let it go.

Protect Your Peace Like It’s Your Job

At the end of the day, you get to decide what gets to you and what doesn’t. You don’t owe anyone an emotional reaction. You don’t have to engage with every opinion. You don’t have to internalize what doesn’t serve you.

Your energy, your time, your peace—they’re worth protecting.

💡 Action step: The next time something upsets you, imagine yourself physically setting it down and walking away from it. You don’t have to carry everything.

You Get to Choose What Defines You

Some things will feel personal. Some things will be personal. But you get to decide what shapes you. Not every opinion, not every rejection, not every offhand comment deserves a permanent place in your mind.

So, next time something stings, remind yourself: this doesn’t have to be yours to carry. Let it go. Keep going. And focus on what actually matters.

What’s one thing you’re learning to take less personally? Let me know in the comments 💛