Working Mom Tips

Being a mom and having a paid job -because domestic work is also work and it never stops- is one of the biggest challenges a human can face. Besides being responsible for another person's life, their happiness, and how they'll navigate life afterward, some more tasks and responsibilities depend on you. Yes, it's a lot.

Today, I want to share some tips that work for me to balance things out a bit and avoid having a psychotic meltdown.

✨Rise before anyone else

I carve out time for myself, I can do my routine, get ready, organize the day, and even work for a bit. Then we have breakfast, and everything starts differently. This works now. When she was a baby and hardly slept, not so much. I feel like a better mom doing this because I take care of myself, I miss her, and when she wakes up, I truly enjoy it. If I woke up with her, everything would be more chaotic. I do it because it's also beautiful but only on weekends.

✨Organization is key

I use Google Calendar, and each task has its day and time. This way, I don't forget anything, whether it's work or life matters like paying for childcare, rent, or phone bills. Obviously, the mental load is still there, but I get rid of it by organizing when I'll get everything done. The same goes for the weekly menu, shopping for clothes, washing sneakers, organizing activities, and everything else. I systematize everything I can. Mind you: if it doesn't go perfectly or I can't do it, I move it to another day, no need for too much pressure, we're all humans.

✨Childcare is a great ally

It's great for her, she plays, has fun, and learns. I use that time to focus and get as much work done as possible. It's my maximum concentration time, my most productive time, and even though it's 6 hours, it feels like 12. Really, nothing makes you quicker or more productive than being a mother. You get things done. I mentioned childcare because we're about 12,900 km away from where most of our family is, but grandparents, godparents, and aunts also apply.

✨Involving her in tasks

I divide tasks into ones I can do with her and ones I can't. Obviously, it would be easier to go to the supermarket or clean the house alone, but these aren't tasks I do during my work time. Do I have to cook? We cook together. Do we need to go to the pharmacy? We go together. If I feel like exercising, we put on some music. Do I need to do laundry? Do I need to tidy up? Together. It's also nice to share these moments, and as moms or dads, we teach by example.

✨Enough with the guilt

If you're wondering if you're a good mom, you probably are because if you weren't, you wouldn't even question it. You have the right to have professional, personal, and dream goals. You're a person. You deserve to feel good about yourself, and what you do, you also deserve to rest and have your moments. Plus, regardless of whether having projects is great, we need to work. Guilt if we work, guilt if we don't work, enough with the guilt. If I'm there 24/7, if she's happy, if all her needs are met, if she's safe, if we spend time together, if she receives tons of love, am I going to feel guilty for working or doing something for myself? Also, do men feel guilty? No. Case closed.

✨Quality time

When she comes home from childcare, I take a break, we play, we go for family walks, and/or I take care of household chores, but together. We dance, sing, have snacks, paint,  go to the park or the beach in the summer. It's good for me. Before being a mom, I worked all day every day, and it's not cool. Once we play together, once she feels attended to, sometimes she goes to her room and gets lost in her world. And onto the next tip from there.

✨Is she playing alone? I leave her alone

She must develop play, imagination, and independence. I'm nearby, in a safe environment, and when she needs me, she'll call me. In the meantime, I can work for a little while, have some tea, or check Twitter.

✨Strategic screen time

If I have something to do in the afternoon or outside of childcare hours, I put on something on Disney+ or Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, and I sit next to her with my laptop. It's never more than an hour and a half, but an hour and a half feels like 3. I don't think it's wrong for her to watch TV. I mean, if she's receiving the right stimulation, if her development is on track, if she has a variety of activities, TV is great. You just have to choose educational programs, and that's it.

✨Working with mom (plan z)

I'm not a fan of taking her to meetings -my attention drops by 70% because I can't stop looking at her all the time, she's 2 years old, and she wants to see-touch-go everywhere. Some days are different, but generally, that's how it is, she's 2, she's curious, and she wants to explore, and that's okay-. If I really can't reschedule, I can't skip, and my husband can't stay with her, she comes with me, but to make sure everything goes well, I have to follow a series of steps. How? By explaining that mom is going to work for a bit and that she can play, by bringing her books, magazines, something to draw or paint, or snacks. I've never tried giving her a cell phone or a tablet, but I don't rule it out as an exception. When she's older, it will be different, I'll be able to take photos, meet up, and go to more events with her, but for now, that's how it is. I try to avoid it, but when I have no other choice, I do what I can.

✨Enjoying

My baby is what I love most in the entire universe, and I enjoy her every day. I love seeing her grow, I love everything she does, her little hands, her nose, her hair, her eyes, how she talks, and the intensity she has about EVERYTHING, she's so sweet, intelligent, good, and funny. I remember when she was a newborn, and she's grown so much, everything grows so much all the time, what gives me the most peace of mind in the world is knowing that I'm enjoying every stage. I'm completely passionate about what I do, but I'm aware that I'm absolutely replaceable in every area of my life except this one. And that's the most important thing, she's my priority.

Motherhood and paid work aren't incompatible, but they do require a lot of logistics and creativity, things that are also very useful life skills. They say women's productivity decreases during the first two years of motherhood, but then it increases, even surpassing those without children. Why? Because you find a way, you streamline processes, you make things happen, you don't procrastinate because it's now or never.

Is it easy? No, but nothing is easy.

Does it get easier? No, but you get better.

If you have any tips, share them in the comments. If you liked this post, stick around because there's more ✨stuff✨ coming.